Betty Trefilis – A Kytherian connection to the world’s first ever Milk Bar

Kalie Zervos
May 7
5 min read

Updated: May 7

Betty Trefilis engagement portrait c. 1926

Earlier in the year I attended a presentation titled ‘The Greek–Australian Milk Bar: A Transnational History’ by historian Leonard Janiszweki. Leonard spoke of Mick Adams aka Joachim Tavlaridis, a Greek immigrant from Asia Minor who in 1932 opened up the Black and White 4d Milk Bar in Martin Place Sydney, believed to be the world’s first milk bar. During his introduction, he made a comment to the effect that there was no Kytherian link to this milk bar, when a hand raised from the audience and a lady said “yes there was, Mick’s wife was Kytherian!” Well, my Kytherian Genealogy radar went up and I knew I just had to find out more about Mick’s wife.

Later that evening I met Janet, the lady who made the comment, who advised me Mick Adams and Betty Trefilis were her grandparents. Intrigued to find out more about Betty’s life, Janet arranged to meet with me bringing along her sister Debbie, who shared many details about their Kytherian grandmother’s life, both in Greece and here in Australia. They have graciously given me permission to share her story with our Kytherian Genealogy community.

Betty (Bettina) Trefilis (Trifili) was born in Athens c. 1899. She was the eldest daughter of Panagiotis Trifilis of Trifilianika and Erofili Marsellou of Potamos. Bettina had two sisters, Eleni born c. 1901 and Ismine born c. 1904, who died as a baby. Whilst married to his first Kytherian wife, her father Panagiotis moved to Athens for work and was absent for many months at a time. He divorced his first wife, let’s just say after learning of a scandal involving her. He later met and married Erofili Marsellou in Potamos and they moved to Athens. Bettina’s father is believed to have been a restauranteur, successful enough to have built a new house on a block of land he had purchased in Athens which had a well in the back. When Bettina was about five years old, her father tragically died as a result of severe injuries sustained surveying water levels in the well of their new house. The accident occurred after the workmen lowering him into the well lost their grip. Her mother Erofili was breast feeding Ismene at the time and it is believed the baby became ill and died as a result of her milk going off due to the stress caused by her husband’s sudden death. The baby and Panagioti were laid to rest together in Athens.

Eleni (left) and Bettina (right) Trifili c. 1905

After this tragedy, Erofili took the girls to live with her brother Petros, a pharmacist also in Athens, later being joined by her sister Efrpraxia. When Petros enrolled in the army, Erofili decided it was unsafe for four women living alone in Athens, so they moved back to Kythera to live with another brother, living in the Marsellos family home in Potamos. The home was later donated by members of the Marsellos family and became the community centre known in Greek as a Πνευματικο Κεντρο, which still to this day host events, art exhibitions and is the home of the Potamos Philharmonic.

Bettina was 18 years of age when she moved back to Kythera and disliked living there. She was accustomed to life in Athens where she had been schooled and could speak French. Whilst living in Kythera she learnt how to sew and had a real talent for dressmaking, however she was unhappy. Her father’s family had been marred with more tragedy. Her father’s brother died as a result of a shooting accident on a rabbit hunt and her father’s sister died after accidently consuming poison which had been stored in a soft drink bottle.

Bettina had received several marriage proposals in the two or so years she lived in Kythera, however when she received an invitation from her uncle Nick Marsellos to join him in Sydney to be a nanny to his children, she jumped at the chance to leave the island behind. Her journey took six months as she became quite ill and was hospitalised in Egypt. Left behind by the people she was travelling with, she eventually arrived in Freemantle where her uncle met her and they travelled to Sydney. I have searched Australian passenger arrival records and found that a Greek national by the name of ‘Miss Trifillis’ arrived into Freemantle onboard the Orsova on the 11th January 1923. This is more than likely her record, as it states her final destination was to be Sydney. She lived with her uncle in Cottenham Avenue Kensington for about four to five years, looking after the three children and teaching herself English from a book.

Her uncle was married to Maria Tavralidis who was Mick’s sister and this is how Betty met Mick. He would often visit and Betty looked forward to these visits. However, when Mick failed to visit for several weeks, Betty believed he was not interested in her and so accepted a marriage proposal from another man. Betty had been told that Mick was extremely upset by the news and had been seen crying. The engagement announcement was published in the Greek paper, which was owned by Mick’s friend. Mick arranged for the papers to be retrieved from all the shops they had been delivered to as Betty had agreed to reject the proposal and marry Mick.

Although Mick had been a founding member of Saint Sophia in Darlinghurst, due to the factional infighting occurring at the time in the Sydney Greek Orthodox community and the fight over the Holy Trinity church and rifts it had caused, Mick and Betty decided to stay neutral and have their wedding at St James Anglican church in Philip St with the Greek Archbishop Christoforos Knetis officiating the marriage in June 1926. Betty was 23 and Mick was 32 when they married.

They initially lived in a unit at Bondi Beach and while Mick worked hard to build and grow his businesses, Betty stayed home, tending to home duties and raised two daughters, Helen and Lilian (Erofili). She became an active member of the association which assisted new migrant women to settle into life in Sydney. They moved to their newly constructed home “Parthenon” at 7 Robinson Rd at Centennial Park, whilst also owning a home in Cliff Drive Katoomba, which the family lived in for one year during WWII and used as a holiday home. Despite all this, her granddaughters remember how frugal she was, probably as a result of living through the Great Depression and WWII, a time of hardship and rations, even here in Australia.

Betty and Mick Adams on right with family friends, c. 1940s

In 1931 when Betty was pregnant with Lilian, she and her daughter Helen went back to Greece to visit her mother Erofili. Although later in life she had longed to visit Greece one more time, she was too frail to make the journey. Betty passed away in 1991 at the age of 92 and was laid to rest with her husband Mick at Randwick Cemetery in Sydney.